I remember my first objective exam. It began with 56. Deep inside I used to feel as if I was not made for MBBS. But, I aimed to become a great man. I fixed myself at the roof of my hostel and walk round and round with my books and murmur like a priest, whole day. Less mobile, less entertainment. The Saturday model tests used to get me tensed. Reading whole the week, still no mark increased. The week used to pass like bullets. I used to remember my parents who went abroad to get me some common future. I had their struggle in my veins. Then, little by little I increased my marks upto 70 then 80. 10 more to go! I used to see myself in mirror sometimes and say, "Haha, Naveen, talai yo jindagi le kaha puryayo!" My mark was fluctuating. 85 then 79, then 87 then 81, then 80, then 85 again. I never managed to get more than 87 before the real exam. Then, the finals arrived. Paper in my hand, my blank mind full of uncertain future, solving each Rs. 35000 question with earthquake in my fingers but still fake confidence. Doubtfully, I came out. Some days later, the result also came out. I got 91 but unlucky me, out of 41 students who got 91, I was the last, still happy. I missed IOM by 1 mark and out of all those students who got 91, 5 of the last students didn't receive anything. Unlucky Naveen. If you obtain 91 and get your name, you will get 35 lakhs but if you obtain 91 and not get your name, you will receive nothing. What an unfair exam! Everyone gave me faint hope to try for BPKIHS. I followed the trend again. Indian books, NAME, lecture notes, videos, whatever whatever. I was always with my new routine making and changing and tearing the last ones. I used to make grand plans but gained nothing at the end of month. Saturday exams haunting me with unwise marks. My routine involved to complete indian books, modules and past questions. I used to make a lot of mistakes, repeating mistakes, forgetting things but entrance was not about who remembered a lot but was about who forgot lesser. Haha, I used to open mobile to watch videos on fungi but ended up looking 'asapscience' or 'Ted-talks'. Sometimes, I used to dance alone in "Hall of fame." I used to see the videos made by previous IOM toppers and sometimes, try to chat with them on facebook to feel motivated. But, the biggest motivation was that Saturday's mark. Maybe, most of us cheat to get good marks because good marks is only how we get motivated. Month were passing like hours and the final BPKIHS exam arrived. I received the paper, got happy and did whole the paper with full energy and got out 30 mins early. Some days later, result came out at night. My name hanging like a poor baby, down, carrying 171 mark. This time again, 172 was the cut-off. 1 mark, again. I felt so sad but then I saw other 172/171 friends who didn't get the scholarship and convinced myself. I had done so much but no good result. I even had rejected 2 scholarships for Egypt and Pakistan by MOE. I was angry. 1 month for IOM. I started reading again for the war. All time in library, all time with notes and books. I had forgot everything I read from Indian books. I read modules and my notes. I was sad for myself. Les Brown taught me, "The game is not over until you win." In the blink of an eye, finals arrived. I went there, this time with anger and sadness, solved the paper hopelessly and came out doubtfully. Then, result. Nobody knows how happy that unlucky Naveen had felt on seeing his name at the world's unluckiest position- 13. Yes, I got my name on IOM. The two times' missed "1 mark" was added on the previous 91 and I got 93. I have never believed in luck. It is just a random probability, a standard deviation from the mean. You make your own luck from hard work and your brain. That's all. "The harder the battle, the sweeter the victory." All the best, champions.
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